The Story of Us - Part 18
An old roommate of mine had a sign hanging in her apartment in Provo depicting the different stages of love, called The Love Stick.
It goes from Limbo (don't like anyone) to Celestial Marriage, with various steps of "like" and "love" in between. Anyone who stopped by was welcome to put their name on a clothespin and place themselves on whichever step they desired.
It's pretty well understood that you don't just jump from a crush to loving someone. Some people try to jump straight to the top, while others are perfectly content hanging out on the "crush" phase forever. The bottom few steps are pretty easy to fly through, but the farther up the ladder you go, the harder it can be to distinguish (or admit) to which step you're on.
It was safe to say that by the end of June, I was definitely in the "Really Like" with Josh. Every minute in between our crazy school and work schedules was spent with each other, or at least talking with each other. We could talk about anything, laugh over little funny moments, or just relax and watch a movie, and it was all wonderful. Even though it was still new, I was quickly adjusting to this new normal life with Josh.
The week after visiting my family in Billings, Josh and I went out on one of our almost nightly walks around Porter Park so we could talk and enjoy the beautiful summer nights Rexburg has. While we were rounding one of the corners of the sidewalk, Josh casually let it slip out that he had been talking with his dad a couple of days before and told him that he thought I was "the one".
Wait, what?
We had been dating for only a month! How could he possibly know that already? I sure didn't!
Luckily, Josh didn't seem to notice my stunned silence and just kept on talking, but my mind was whirling. Did I love Josh? I certainly loved being with him and dating him, but I wasn't sure if I had reached that love stage.
A couple of days later, on June 29th, Josh and I found ourselves once again out at Porter Park. After a little while, we decided to just sit in the grass and keep talking. Josh started acting a little weird, and I had a feeling that I knew what was going to happen. He started talking about how much he has loved being with me and how amazing he thought I was, and I tried to keep calm, but my mind was also racing. I knew what he was going to say, but I wasn't ready to say those same words back to him, and I didn't want to just say nothing either.
"And, I love you."
As soon as Josh said those words, a shot of warm electricity seemed to spread from my heart all the way to my toes. Wow! He loved me!!
I then realized that he had stopped talking and was looking at me. Crap! My brain panicked, and caught onto the fact that he had been giving me some compliments, and so the first words that made their way out were, "Thank you."
Josh looked a little crestfallen that I had not reciprocated his feelings, but that didn't stop him from telling me that he loved me when he kissed me goodnight at my door. And the same thing the next night, and the night after that, and the night after that. For almost an entire month, Josh would consistently tell me that he loved me every night, and every night I would avoid the expected response. Some times I would just smile, other times it was "Good night Josh" before I would give him a quick kiss and went inside. A couple of times, I almost said "I love you" back, and that would surprise me so much, that I would panic and bolt for the safety of inside.
I was starting to feel that I did love him too, but the thought of voicing what I felt was terrifying. Even though I knew he loved me, I was still scared of saying that I loved him. But the end of the semester and graduation was quickly approaching, and even though I didn't know how exactly I felt, I knew I wanted to stay in Rexburg near Josh. And so I was applying and interviewing for nursing jobs in Rexburg and Idaho Falls, and I arranged to crash with a couple of friends during the summer until I found something. I wouldn't want to go through all of that if I didn't love him, right?
All too soon, it was the day of graduation. My test and papers were all done, my family was in town, and the next day I would be leaving Rexburg for a week and a half to head off to Disneyland with my family. And I didn't want to leave without telling Josh how I felt. At some point during the festivities of the day, Josh and I were sitting on the couch at my place, just snuggling when I finally decided to shove out the doubts in my head, and take the plunge. In almost a whisper, I quietly said, "I love you."
"I love you, too, Alaura."
It goes from Limbo (don't like anyone) to Celestial Marriage, with various steps of "like" and "love" in between. Anyone who stopped by was welcome to put their name on a clothespin and place themselves on whichever step they desired.
It's pretty well understood that you don't just jump from a crush to loving someone. Some people try to jump straight to the top, while others are perfectly content hanging out on the "crush" phase forever. The bottom few steps are pretty easy to fly through, but the farther up the ladder you go, the harder it can be to distinguish (or admit) to which step you're on.
It was safe to say that by the end of June, I was definitely in the "Really Like" with Josh. Every minute in between our crazy school and work schedules was spent with each other, or at least talking with each other. We could talk about anything, laugh over little funny moments, or just relax and watch a movie, and it was all wonderful. Even though it was still new, I was quickly adjusting to this new normal life with Josh.
The week after visiting my family in Billings, Josh and I went out on one of our almost nightly walks around Porter Park so we could talk and enjoy the beautiful summer nights Rexburg has. While we were rounding one of the corners of the sidewalk, Josh casually let it slip out that he had been talking with his dad a couple of days before and told him that he thought I was "the one".
Wait, what?
We had been dating for only a month! How could he possibly know that already? I sure didn't!
Luckily, Josh didn't seem to notice my stunned silence and just kept on talking, but my mind was whirling. Did I love Josh? I certainly loved being with him and dating him, but I wasn't sure if I had reached that love stage.
A couple of days later, on June 29th, Josh and I found ourselves once again out at Porter Park. After a little while, we decided to just sit in the grass and keep talking. Josh started acting a little weird, and I had a feeling that I knew what was going to happen. He started talking about how much he has loved being with me and how amazing he thought I was, and I tried to keep calm, but my mind was also racing. I knew what he was going to say, but I wasn't ready to say those same words back to him, and I didn't want to just say nothing either.
"And, I love you."
As soon as Josh said those words, a shot of warm electricity seemed to spread from my heart all the way to my toes. Wow! He loved me!!
I then realized that he had stopped talking and was looking at me. Crap! My brain panicked, and caught onto the fact that he had been giving me some compliments, and so the first words that made their way out were, "Thank you."
Josh looked a little crestfallen that I had not reciprocated his feelings, but that didn't stop him from telling me that he loved me when he kissed me goodnight at my door. And the same thing the next night, and the night after that, and the night after that. For almost an entire month, Josh would consistently tell me that he loved me every night, and every night I would avoid the expected response. Some times I would just smile, other times it was "Good night Josh" before I would give him a quick kiss and went inside. A couple of times, I almost said "I love you" back, and that would surprise me so much, that I would panic and bolt for the safety of inside.
I was starting to feel that I did love him too, but the thought of voicing what I felt was terrifying. Even though I knew he loved me, I was still scared of saying that I loved him. But the end of the semester and graduation was quickly approaching, and even though I didn't know how exactly I felt, I knew I wanted to stay in Rexburg near Josh. And so I was applying and interviewing for nursing jobs in Rexburg and Idaho Falls, and I arranged to crash with a couple of friends during the summer until I found something. I wouldn't want to go through all of that if I didn't love him, right?
All too soon, it was the day of graduation. My test and papers were all done, my family was in town, and the next day I would be leaving Rexburg for a week and a half to head off to Disneyland with my family. And I didn't want to leave without telling Josh how I felt. At some point during the festivities of the day, Josh and I were sitting on the couch at my place, just snuggling when I finally decided to shove out the doubts in my head, and take the plunge. In almost a whisper, I quietly said, "I love you."
"I love you, too, Alaura."
Aw! So sweet!
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