Here is Good

January 1st Happy New Year and Hello 2nd trimester!! It's so crazy to think that roughly 6 months from now, we will actually have a little baby! The past couple of months since we found out have seemed to have flown by, but at the same time, July still feels likes it's ages away. Baby keeps growing and growing, and is now about 3.5 inches long (about the size of a beet/lemon/peach), and weighs about 1.5 ounces. Baby is now growing hair (though based on how Josh and I looked as babies, probably not much on his/her head, haha!), and other body systems keep getting better and better at their job. As for me, my bump is definitely becoming more noticeable, and so my regular clothes are not very comfy. So I bought my first pairs of leggings and I LOVE them! I don't know why I did have these earlier because they are the softest, comfiest things ever! Overall I'm feeling the best I have in a couple of months - more energy, more liking of food again, less heartburn....

November 8th So I've been meaning to start writing this a couple of weeks ago, but I keep forgetting. BUT, I am dying with holding this wonderful news inside of me: I'M PREGNANT!!!!! This still feels all so unreal, and yet I'm overflowing with joy! Ok, so let me explain how this all came to be. My last cycle started the first week of September, and per Dr. Heiner, I had a big list of labs, tests, and medications to get done. And for some reason, the fact that I was having to go through all of this was extremely overwhelming, and I was an emotional wreck. I'm talking hanging up on Josh, crying through an ultrasound, eating all chocolate in sight kind of wreck. I went through another round of Clomid and had my fallopian tubes checked (which looked great), but I was in such a funk, that I didn't have any hope that this would work. I needed a break. We both did. So we decided that after this cycle, we would take a few months off to recuperate. But I still kept u...

People tell me that I'm so strong, that I'm brave to be going through this. I certainly don't feel that way. When you think of being strong and brave, you think of soldiers and superheros, not girls who have no idea what they're doing, crying on their couch at 10:30 at night. It's hard to be brave when things seem like they're quickly slipping out of your control. It's hard to be brave when everything seems uncertain. It's hard to be brave when it feels like your dream seems to be getting farther away. It's hard to be brave when people who don't know everything make hurtful comments. It's hard to be brave when you feel like your body is betraying you. This is hard.         _____________________________________________________ This past month or so have been some of the most stressful, agonizing weeks I've ever experienced. We've been diving back into the world of infertility-ness, and things have been a little crazy, so...

I guess at this point I should just let you all know, if you’re not interested in hearing the emotional side of Josh Guin, you should stop reading now. (I wouldn’t blame you. I tend to get a little wordy when this happens.) As the first sentence of this post suggests, I’m here to talk about the difficulty of having a baby. Specifically, with my wife and I. I’ve been trying to figure out a good way to cope with it and so far, I really haven’t found anything good. So, here I am at 11:42 pm typing away. I hope that you’ll forgive the scattered nature of this post. I don’t do this sort of thing. Since Alaura and I have started trying to have a child, it has been quite a roller-coaster1 of emotions. As I’m sure many of you have experienced, babies can cause a lot of emotion even before they’re in existence. Happiness, sadness, anger, jealousy, etc. All of these emotions can make life very interesting, to say the least. When I met my wife, she was such a fun loving, caring perso...

Every girl dreams of the day that the man of their dreams would ask her to marry him. Would he give you flowers? Would it be in a crowded restaurant or somewhere private? Would she cry? Go up to any girl and she can tell you instantly what her perfect proposal would be. But no matter how or where or when it happens, it's always perfect because from that moment on you know that you're going to be with the man you love forever.           ___________________________________________________ November 9th, 2013 You may recall that Josh and I had planned to go hike R Mountain that day after we snagged some free lunch on campus (never say no to free food). Then Josh and I jumped in Josh's jeep to head out on our hike. I didn't quite realize it then, but Josh wasn't quite dressed for a steep hike up the back of a mountain: he was wearing one of his favorite nicer shirts and some khaki pants. Me, I was in my comfiest jeans and a sweatshirt. It was a slightly chil...

No matter how long you've been in a relationship with a person, marriage is a huge step. You are committing yourself to another person on a deeper level than just dating them - you are promising to be with them through all the ups and downs that life has to bring. Promising that to be their one and only, promising to be their family and as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I believe that marriage performed in the temple can last not just for this life, but for eternity. It's a beautiful promise. A little overwhelming, but beautiful.             _________________________________________________ So I need to back track in the story a little. As I've mentioned before, by the middle of summer, Josh knew that I was the one he wanted to marry. And per the norm in our relationship, I wasn't quite there yet. I was comfortable in the stage of life that we were in at that time. But Josh was ever patient with me. (Seriously, how did ...