Here is Good

February 28th Happy 23 weeks and happy 5 months!! I can't believe how fast February has gone by and how much this little boy is growing and moving. Because of work and traveling out of town, I wasn't able to make it to my own church ward for about a month, and so this Sunday I shocked quite a few people by how big my belly has gotten. One girl apparently missed the memo that I was pregnant, and asked "What?? You're pregnant! When did this happen??", haha! :) Little Boy is bouncing around like crazy, and every now and then when he gets into a bigger kickfest, I can see my belly move around too. Though he's very good at not kicking as much when Josh is around, much to Josh's annoyance, haha! He is now just over a pound in weight and is about 11.5 inches long, or the size of a large mango. Since he still doesn't have hardly any fat on his little body yet, Baby Boy's skin is still pretty transparent and has a reddish tint to it from his ...

January 29th 4 months down!! This is going to be one of the best months because it's gender reveal month!! We're counting down the days until we get to see our little baby's face and cute little arms and legs. I tend to stress some before each doctor's appointment, hoping that everything is ok, so having an ultrasound and being able to see our sweet little peanut will be so nice!  I'm still having some of those days where I just feel fat instead of pregnant, telling Josh I've had "food babies" as big as my bump is now. But then other days I feel like my bump is ginormous and I'm a little nervous to see just how big it'll get by July! Baby is now about the size of a sweet potato, measuring about 5 1/2 inches and around 7 ounces. Baby's nerves are becoming more fine-tuned and working faster, helping Baby to kick and move around in there. I *think* I may have felt some kicks the other night, but I'm not positive. I'm ...

January 1st Happy New Year and Hello 2nd trimester!! It's so crazy to think that roughly 6 months from now, we will actually have a little baby! The past couple of months since we found out have seemed to have flown by, but at the same time, July still feels likes it's ages away. Baby keeps growing and growing, and is now about 3.5 inches long (about the size of a beet/lemon/peach), and weighs about 1.5 ounces. Baby is now growing hair (though based on how Josh and I looked as babies, probably not much on his/her head, haha!), and other body systems keep getting better and better at their job. As for me, my bump is definitely becoming more noticeable, and so my regular clothes are not very comfy. So I bought my first pairs of leggings and I LOVE them! I don't know why I did have these earlier because they are the softest, comfiest things ever! Overall I'm feeling the best I have in a couple of months - more energy, more liking of food again, less heartburn....

November 8th So I've been meaning to start writing this a couple of weeks ago, but I keep forgetting. BUT, I am dying with holding this wonderful news inside of me: I'M PREGNANT!!!!! This still feels all so unreal, and yet I'm overflowing with joy! Ok, so let me explain how this all came to be. My last cycle started the first week of September, and per Dr. Heiner, I had a big list of labs, tests, and medications to get done. And for some reason, the fact that I was having to go through all of this was extremely overwhelming, and I was an emotional wreck. I'm talking hanging up on Josh, crying through an ultrasound, eating all chocolate in sight kind of wreck. I went through another round of Clomid and had my fallopian tubes checked (which looked great), but I was in such a funk, that I didn't have any hope that this would work. I needed a break. We both did. So we decided that after this cycle, we would take a few months off to recuperate. But I still kept u...

People tell me that I'm so strong, that I'm brave to be going through this. I certainly don't feel that way. When you think of being strong and brave, you think of soldiers and superheros, not girls who have no idea what they're doing, crying on their couch at 10:30 at night. It's hard to be brave when things seem like they're quickly slipping out of your control. It's hard to be brave when everything seems uncertain. It's hard to be brave when it feels like your dream seems to be getting farther away. It's hard to be brave when people who don't know everything make hurtful comments. It's hard to be brave when you feel like your body is betraying you. This is hard.         _____________________________________________________ This past month or so have been some of the most stressful, agonizing weeks I've ever experienced. We've been diving back into the world of infertility-ness, and things have been a little crazy, so...

I guess at this point I should just let you all know, if you’re not interested in hearing the emotional side of Josh Guin, you should stop reading now. (I wouldn’t blame you. I tend to get a little wordy when this happens.) As the first sentence of this post suggests, I’m here to talk about the difficulty of having a baby. Specifically, with my wife and I. I’ve been trying to figure out a good way to cope with it and so far, I really haven’t found anything good. So, here I am at 11:42 pm typing away. I hope that you’ll forgive the scattered nature of this post. I don’t do this sort of thing. Since Alaura and I have started trying to have a child, it has been quite a roller-coaster1 of emotions. As I’m sure many of you have experienced, babies can cause a lot of emotion even before they’re in existence. Happiness, sadness, anger, jealousy, etc. All of these emotions can make life very interesting, to say the least. When I met my wife, she was such a fun loving, caring perso...